1. |
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Christopher Behind the 8-ball
When past panic’s stormy capes
I sailed into the nether shoals
Lo, beneath the scrutiny
Of the sailors long gone down before
“Abandon ship! Abandon ship!
They cried to me “all hope is lost!”
On, sail on, have faith the world is round
And no one here will be there to care
If it should prove that I am wrong.
The Tropic of Delirium
The seagull sings and mermaids strum
A symphony of seashell strings
Crystal gin and pirate rum
I almost wound up on the rocks
But spied in time the drunken sun
On, sail on, have faith the world is round
And no one here will be there to care
If it should prove that I am wrong.
The sea becalmed like a looking glass
Playing craps we sat still fast
And mumbly-peg with the captain’s leg
Man, he looks like a fillet
I think we might be sorry yet, boys
Everyone place your last bets
On, sail on, have faith the world is round
And no one here will be there to care
If it should prove that I am wrong.
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2. |
Poor Sunshine
04:38
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Poor Sunshine
Shrinking the violet bleeds hot lemonade
And gaze blackly out on the lucky parade
Sun raining down, god bless the shade
Where the dogs all gather for panting
Turning the burning orb screams with a wink
“Fire for all and nothing to drink”
And wrestling with the nighttime he loses and sinks
Singing: “Darkness for all your crying”
And my poor old sunshine is dying
So sickness he reigns his jubilant feat
And rides the poor saddle boys, Davy and Pete
A cold summer week on Malaria street
Where sleep is the only releasing
And my poor old sunshine is still breathing
Trumpet by Stan Martin
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3. |
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Treatise and Manifesto on "E"
Evil is everywhere my dear
Surely you’ve seen him
He lives in your shadow
On your shoulder in your ear
You expect him to be regal
And at times he is all that
But more often he’s a slouching
Little rat in your bathroom mirror
Sometimes he masquerades
As the village idiot
Too stupid to be dangerous
But with a bent
Toward accident
And oh, your life has been
A fairy tale till now, dear, hasn’t it?
You never swung on the trapeze without
A safety net
You magnified your tiny teacup tempests
Till they were something huge and wet
You had to write a little fiction
Or you’d be nothing
And like all clueless souls like you
You’re not getting any of this, really, are you?
Well comprehend this one thing dear
And I will take my leave
And wander with my ragged friends
On down through life’s little dream:
In all your fucked up glory
In all your stinking greed
In all your pathetic misery
And unconscious savagery
You are the most evil one this one has ever seen
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4. |
Tomorrow's Yesterday
03:53
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Tomorrow’s Yesterday
Somewhere in a rosy past
I might have made up
Its blurring fast
Into perfect days and better nights
Now no one ever has such times
Do we erase the bad and magnify
The sunshine and the blue skies
Till it burns a hole right through today
And leaves it all more tinged with grey
Remember, today is just another day
Could have been a better day
Still tomorrow’s yesterday
If you can make it past
Today is just another day
Not as bad as some other days
Still tomorrow’s yesterday
And it won’t be the last
All horizons seem so flat
But the world turns no less for that
And when I carry a heavy weight
They seem like they could crack and break
But when I’m full of hope and light
Horizons just stretch out of sight
I guess it’s all a part of me
The dark and light and in between
Remember, today is just another day
Could have been a better day
Still tomorrow’s yesterday
If you can make it past
Today is just another day
Not as bad as some other days
Still tomorrow's yesterday
And it won't be the last
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5. |
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Mud in the Unblinking Eye
Gentlemen a toast
To all the rabbits and the goats
The animals and cannibals
The goblins and the ghosts
The vision of the blindest
And the wisdom of the mindless
Drink to the health
Of the men of fame and wealth
Amassing bloody fortunes
With art and guile and stealth
Glittering lost treasures
Collecting dust upon their shelves
Raise your glass high
To the black head in the sky
Here’s mud in his unblinking eye
Drink up, drink up
Drain your cup!
Look under rocks tirelessly
Uncover secrets
Taste the pain that saves
Yeah, take it to your grave
Lie in the bed you made
Be mystical, be quizzical
And when it blows, invisible
Raise your glass high
To the black head in the sky
Here’s mud in his unblinking eye
Drink up, drink up
Drain your cup!
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6. |
Swimming Upstream
03:52
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Swimming Upstream
Playing in the tiny tiny microscopic
The blind myopic
Where little little grains of sand
Seem to tower like crystal mountains
Trapped inside the millisecond lengthy lives
Undirected
Shadowed by the greatest men
Of history we just pretend and
Swimming Upstream
You’ve got to fight the current or you’re
Just a dream
So you stay seconds slip away
And you’re pretty evil
Just to pay your way
With a murder here
And a dead sea there
(Where?)
No one sees and no one cares
Ride a slow descending spiral
Never ending into fire
Poison sunshine glowing rain
Doesn’t matter
Everyone’s insane
Swimming Upstream
You’ve got to fight the current or you’re
Just a dream
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7. |
Self Afflicted
03:44
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Self Afflicted
Of all the weird highlights in a strange and comic life
This latest stretch of treachery has got a special bite
To turn and face the villain and to find him in my shoes
And staring out from behind my eyes like a bearer of bad news
I want to scream at you I want to dream at you
I want to blame you for all the self inflicted shit I'm going through
A thousand shaking hands they try to write the words
A thousand lies turn around and bite like some family curse
And laughing hard we clutch our hearts as they tick their last tock
But like statues we go on solid as a rock
I want to scream at you I want to dream at you
I want to blame you for all the self inflicted shit I'm going through
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8. |
Ready
04:52
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Ready
If you ever read this, know that it was written in a moment of desperation by a man
who’d lost all hope of salvation.
Surrounded and out of time he picks up his pen and tries to write a farewell message to
his friends or a scrawl on the wall to the rest of them. Saying:
Does anybody know which way is heaven?
Does anybody know how to get there?
Can anybody show me the way to heaven?
Cause I sure as hell am ready
I sure as hell am ready
I sure as hell am ready to get the hell out of here.
If you ever hear this, know that it was shouted from the bottom of a grave by someone
who’s been buried alive, screaming at the people outside: “Put down your shovels I’m
not ready to die. You idiots are you all deaf and blind?”
(Now let his panic turn to peace as angels singing sweet relief carry him on snowy wings.
From far away you can hear them sing:
Does anybody know which way is heaven?
Does anybody know how to get there?
Can anybody show me the way to heaven?
Cause I sure as hell am ready
I sure as hell am ready
I sure as hell am ready to get the hell out of here.
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9. |
Our Jesus of Sin
03:18
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Our Jesus of Sin
{Lyrics by Stephanie Gray)
And confusion sets deep your sickness divine
Forced to audience witness see the rogue's demise
Mother takes the first nail to your silver silken shrine
Our Jesus of Sin and all the heavens within
Madness and candy pleasure too wide
And all stories hero's empty eyes set
Controlled and enthralled by your prophetic lies
Our Jesus of Sin and all the heavens within
Spellbound I still followed glazed in warm secretions
Driven us from that forked tongue willing damnation
We jury judge you child living on morals and a blind man's lust
Our Jesus of Sin and all the heavens within
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10. |
For Lilith
01:41
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For Lilith
Now it’s time to make a sacrifice
Of your only child
Before you draw the blade across her throat
Stare into her eyes
One last time
Sacrifice her to the God of Sex
The God of Love
The God of Death and Ruin
To the God of Lies
‘Cause there’s nothing quite so precious
As your damaged soul
After all
Nothing’s quite so precious as this moment
Not the life of any child
Not any summer’s mourning glory
Not any mountain lost in blinding snow
Not twice a thousand years
Nothing is as beautiful
(Is it?)
Nothing is as valuable
(Is it?)
Nothing is as wonderful
As you
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11. |
Eavesdroppin
03:10
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Eavesdroppin’
I hear lockbolts quietly drawn
In other rooms of my house
Though we have no secrets here
The voices are too loud
Speaking words so empty
Although we are all friends
We’re sometimes not so friendly
But we always kiss and make up again
And the more I need you
The farther I drift away
Well I’m trying not to eavesdrop
On two conversations at once
Neither one too friendly
Both of them been going on for months
Neither one quite grasped
Over the TV’s roar
Both of them quite drowning out
The endearments that I heard before
A lot of words so empty
Although we are all friends
We’re sometimes not so friendly
But we always kiss and make up again
And the more I need you
The farther I drift away
Y’know we have no secrets here
But we’re sometimes not so friendly
Lyrics by Paul Roessler Music by Mark Curry
Guitar and bass by Mark Curry
Percussion loop Greg Ellis
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12. |
If Only
04:38
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If Only
But that the world might end right now
With hope still springing just out of reach
Yet still alive somehow
We make believe, as if, entreat
If only that sleeping wish so dreamt
That vision we let slip squander lost and spent
Unfulfilled fulfilling
We’d kissed and kept
So Maybe So Treasured
Became Ours Forever
A languorous touch
Unrealized
A yearning kept
Chained inside
So possible and yet not
Horizons we found and then forgot
By finding
So Maybe So Treasured
Became Ours Forever
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13. |
Crime Paying Now
05:53
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Crime Paying Now
They’re freaking at the meeting
They’re taking quite a beating
Someone’s getting jacked today
I think I best be leaving
Horace looks out nervously
And locks his windows furtively
But he’s pulled it off so perfectly
All syrupy, he’s rated G
Down at the monastery
The covers turn and twist
Someone’s giving in again
To what they’ve been told to resist
But down there in the darkness
A child of love is born
Only to be slaughtered
Early the next morning
The albatross is in the ointment
That greased the screaming wheel
And every stinking day is like another
Wound that doesn’t heal
Because inside of everyone
There’s a tiny little son of a gun
Who loves to ramble and to roam
And can’t leave well enough alone
Spoken word by Greg Hurley
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14. |
Lucifer Falling
05:17
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Lucifer Falling
Looking back on terminal bliss I was hiding from the source of all this
Raging fire through our wire the days that hide our eyes in mist
The times they fight us the dogs that bite us the smiles that lie right through the pain
And the sense of wonder as we discover nothing ever stays the same
And just when you think you’ve grabbed an answer she reminds you nothing’s that sure
You can fill your heart with promises but promises are just tinkling laughter
Sometimes you’re gonna fail but sometimes you’re gonna sail
Sometimes you’re gonna be Lucifer falling out of my heaven
Going to your midnight mass walking blind on starlight glass
Gladly fall down to your knees but church words don’t echo down your street
Instead they trickle ripple tiny shining drops of heartbreak hope
Swimming through the city sewers
Past the peaceful sleeping windows
Sometimes I’m gonna fail but sometimes I’m gonna sail
Sometimes I’m gonna be Lucifer falling out of your heaven
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15. |
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To Feed the Flow and the Raw Surge
(Lyrics by Stephanie Gray)
A soul can withstand each blow for only so long
Misery can wither chill you so alone
Carry you to nowhere and you battle no further
Elements dictate your broken body stroll
Yesterday's game the heat you distrust
And weaker and withered seek out ancient days child you lost
Where nothing is dreamt of is all
Open armed defenseless wounds bared
You stalk distanced weapon nearby
Shaded dusky eyelids prepare to fall
Time can weather toll taken no damage fathomed can fatal or heal
As one you hold trophy torment waiting treachery from my hand to deal
Soft submission side broken volatile child visualize answers yet as rapidly lost they flee
And you, your shaded dusky eyelids prepare to fall
You feed into that flow you know
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16. |
Suicide
03:27
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Suicide
Words and music by Glenn Brown
Somethings always itching you and who do you go bitching to?
And how come I'm the lucky one that's sharing your idea of fun
You remind me of a cough I had I couldn't shake it really bad
A clever plan just crossed my mind a way to leave my pain behind
Suicide why don't you try
Suicide at least one try
It's not because I love you, it's just the way I want you
I'll drive or walk you anywhere I've got to get you out of my hair
I'll give you all the tools you need I want this for you desperately
Give me a big wet kiss goodbye I hope you're strong enough to die
Suicide why don't you try
Suicide at least one try
Instruments by Paul Roessler and Geza X
Produced by Geza X
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17. |
Caving In
04:55
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Caving In
If all of the things that she says are true I should let her go...
But I can't believe I was really that bad
Was feeling so happy there
Feeling like I was beating my demons there
Feeling like I was really going somewhere
Anywhere
But here
Nowhere
If all of the things that I've done have really hurt her that bad
I should let her go and pay her fare
But I can't believe I was really that cruel
I was so happy there
Feeling like I was finally breathing air
Feeling like I could give her everything
Something
Anything
But nothing
Feels like my whole world is caving in
Don't even know where to begin
All of the stormclouds are rolling in
All of the scales are balancing
All of the heroes are cashing in
And all of us are so afraid of it
But no one round here is escaping it
And you are my reason for taking it
Feels like my whole world is caving in
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18. |
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12 steppers and dead junkies
There’s never enough money
There’s never enough time
There might be a god somewhere
But he never sends a sign
The church is hypocritical
The government’s corrupt
There’s a little bit of coffee left
I just heated it up
There’s never enough chocolate
Cigarettes and wine
When He dealt you out your cards
He had nothing in mind
There are certain rumors
That need to be dispelled
There are certain tumors
That should be exorcised and
Consigned to hell.
There are no half-ways
There are no in-betweens
Only fairy tale endings
We don’t believe
12 steppers and dead junkies.
When you add up your earnings
Don’t forget your costs
When you tally your possessions
Don’t forget the things you’ve lost
Don’t fall for tricks
That people play with words
Feed your dried up bread crumbs
To the staving birds
Don’t fall to your knees
For every passing priest
If you have belief
They want to steal a little piece
How much? Who cares? Not me. No way.
Are there no half-ways?
Are there no in-betweens?
Only fairy tale endings
We don’t believe
12 steppers and dead junkies
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Paul Roessler Los Angeles, California
Paul Roessler is a musician, composer and producer who lives in Los Angeles
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